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This is the journal of an overeducated, indie, totally pretentious, snarky, Hong Kong-born, Los Angeles-raised ex-New Yorker masquerading as a bright young thing working in Beijing, China. Cry with our heroine as she discovers the deadly subway squish! Cheer as our heroine triumphs against deadly mosquito infestations, water and power outages, truly awful squat toilets, and crazy taxis! Laugh as our heroine screws up her Chinese so badly that no one understands her!

Read the authorized autobiography!

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I also write the changchunguide and maintain the china_expats community.

Mostly public, but some entries are friends-locked and/or filtered. That's just the way it is, folks.

If I don't respond to your comment immediately, that's because Livejournal is generally blocked in China, and it can be a hassle to access even with a proxy.

Friending: go right ahead! Defriending: go right ahead! Every day is Friending and Defriending Amnesty Day!

It is a sign of how I really don't want to be working on my freaking 4000 character teaching plan that I would rather randomly translate a Chinese poem into English instead. This is a beautiful poem about the transience of life by He Qifang.  Any suggestions for things that I mistranslated would be most welcome! 

我想谈说种种纯洁的事情
何其芳

我想谈说种种纯洁的事情，
我想起了我最早的朋友，最早的爱情。

地上有花。天上有星星。
人——有着心灵。
我知道没有什么东西能够永远坚固，
在自然的运行中一切消逝如朝露。
但那些发过光的东西是如此可珍，
而且在它们自己的光辉里获得了永恒。
我曾经和我最早的朋友一起坐在草地上读着书籍，
一起在星空下走着，谈着我们的未来。
对于贫穷的孩子它们是那样富足。
我又曾沉默地爱着一个女孩子，
我是那样喜欢为她做着许多小事情。
没有回答，甚至于没有觉察，
我的爱情已经和十五晚上的月亮一样圆满。
呵，时间的灰尘遮盖了我的心灵，
我太久太久没有想起过他们!
我最早的朋友早已睡在坟墓里了。
我最早的爱人早已作了母亲。
我也再不是一个少年人。
但自然并不因我停止它的运行，
世界上仍然到处有着青春，
到处有着刚开放的心灵。
年轻的同志们，我们一起到野外去吧，
在那柔和的蓝色的天空之下，
我想对你们谈说种种纯洁的事情。

I wish to speak of all things pure
He Qifang

I wish to speak of all things pure,
I think of my oldest friend, my oldest love.
Flowers on the ground, stars in the sky
Human beings—have souls.
I know that nothing is forever or solid
It all fades away naturally like dew
But things that were once bright remain precious,
In their own light they gain an eternity.
Together my oldest friend and I sit on the grass reading books,
Together we walk beneath the starry sky, we speak of the future.
For poor youths this is enough.
I also once silently loved a girl.
I took pleasure in doing many small things for her.
But there was never a response, not even awareness,
My love only needed the fifteen days to the full moon to be completed.
Ah, time’s dust covers my mind
For too long I have not thought of them!
My oldest friend already sleeps in a grave.
My oldest love has already become a mother.
I am no longer a teenager.
But the cycle of nature will not stop because of me
The world will always have its young,
Everywhere there will be newly opened spirits and minds
My young comrades, let us go outdoors
Under the gentle blue sky,
With you I wish to speak of all things pure.

This makes me really happy:

Something For the Longing, a website on the Filipino indiepop scene.

They have quite a few free mp3 compilations available on their blog, including a tribute album to The Lucksmiths.

From their Myspace:

Sounds like: a hundred people talking about Sarah records

"If you're twee as fuck, if you're not scared to get happy, if you think C is the Heavenly option, in the words of Saint Etienne, join our club. And please remember, DON'T STOP INDIEPOP!"

An Eschatological Laundry List taken from
If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!
The Pilgrimage of Psychotherapy Patients
by Sheldon Kopp

An Eschatological Laundry List
1. This is it.
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can't get there from here, and besides there is no place to go.
4. We are already dying, and we'll be dead a long time.
5. Nothing lasts!
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can't have anything unless you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there's no compensation for misfortune.
11. You have the responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
12. It's a random universe to which we bring meaning.
13. You really don't control anything.
14. You can't make anyone love you.
15. No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.
16. Everyone is, in his own way, vulnerable.
17. There are no great men.
18. If you have a hero, look again; you have diminished yourself in some way.
19. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends. (yes, you too, and most certainly myself.)
20. All evil is potentially vitality in need of transformation.
21. All of you is worth something if you will only own it.
22. Progress is an illusion.
23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.
24. Yet it is necessary to keep struggling toward solution.
25. Childhood is a nightmare.
26. But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
27. Each of us is ultimately alone.
28. The most important things each man must do for himself.
29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.
30. We have only ourselves, and one another. That may not be much, but that's all there is.
31. How strange, that so often, it all seems worth it.
32. We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power, and partial knowledge.
33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
35. No excuses will be accepted.
36. You can run, but you can't hide.
37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
39. The only victory lies is in surrender to oneself.
40. All of the significant battles are waged within the self.
41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
42. What do you know for sure...anyway?
43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again.

I got the Hanban scholarship! I'll be studying the major of teaching foreigners Chinese (对外汉语). Ha ha! Those of you who know Chinese can imagine what that actually means. If I remember correctly the scholarship is actually for a master's degree in that major.

At least I'll never be out of a job with a degree like that!

OK! Before I start my semester, I think I'll do something crazy. LIKE, go to Korea for a weekend!

Well, that will teach me to make pre-emptive plans, I was all set to go home!

You know what is the absolutely saddest thing that I discovered while in England? That in the years since I had Neko, I have become horribly allergic to cats.

Every single one of the places that we stayed in - including Scott's house and his friend's place in Edinburgh - had at least one cat, sometimes two. And stupid, stupid me, I had brought the wrong packet of allergy medicine. Instead of the one that I thought was a full packet, I had brought the one that I had nearly used up. And it turned out that the allergy medicine that was in England was completely useless for me, including the generic version of Claritin.

In the two weeks I was in England I barely got any sleep. Scott barely got any sleep because my cat asthma was so extreme. Every single night I was wheezing and hacking away, but once we were out in the open air again I was fine. In Edinburgh we ended up having to run away to a hostel because the spare bed there was covered in cat fur. That was the only night I managed to have a good night's sleep.

This is so sad. I mean, how can I be an organic farmer and not have a cat to keep the mice away?! Or not have a cat to purr in my lap when I am reading the New Yorker and having a cup of tea on a rainy day? (This is my favourite memory that I associate with Neko.)

Because I'm on holiday now and only working two afternoons a week, I am cooking a lot.  I was inspired to write a post about the food blogs I love.

• Smitten Kitchen - My little sister tummybumps  loves Smitten Kitchen and she has got me hooked too.  First of all, the name itself forces me to love it.  Secondly, her photos are gorgeous. (Photos hosted on Flickr so they are inconsistently blocked in China.) Thirdly, the recipes themselves are fairly simple and exceedingly tasty, and for the most part I can easily find substitutes for the ingredients.  Try: Broccoli Slaw Smitten Kitchen-style, just had this for a nice, light summer lunch.

• Bitten - Mark BIttman is my hero for simple, easy recipes that are not particularly fussy.  He also discusses food politics a lot on his blog, which is definitely something I'd like to see more food bloggers discuss in tandem with their recipes. The comment section is also well worth reading.  His recipe for sorbet has long been a favourite of mine (and my friends who come over to eat my sorbet).

• SimplyRecipes.com - Whenever I plug in general search terms for a recipe with ingredients that I happen to have, Elise's recipes often come up. For some reason, her chicken recipes are the ones that I return to again and again: Lemon Chicken and Buttermilk Fried Chicken.

• Appetite For China - This is the blog of a Chinese-American (who grew up in Puerto Rico) who now lives in Shanghai.  I visit this website all the time for recipes, since I've long discovered that if I make local favorites myself, it tastes far better.  Two particular recipes that I love: Fish-Fragrant Eggplant (recently figured out how to make a vegetarian version of this: just substitute minced five-spice tofu for pork) and Gong Bao Chicken.  Mmm...Sichuan cuisine. A lot of the recipes on here are ones that I'm storing up for the eventual day when I do leave China and cry quietly in my sleep because I can't get Fish-Fragrant Eggplant with proper Sichuanese spices.

• Manjula's Kitchen - Manjula is the Indian mother that you always wished that you had.  Her website also has videos to help you cook (although they are blocked in China since they are hosted on YouTube).  So far, Manjula's Kitchen has been purely aspirational for me, but one day, I really will get myself down to the Indian market and pick up the appropriate spices to make aloo gobi and samosas.

• Just Hungry - If Manjula is the Indian mother that you always wish you had, then Just Hungry is the Japanese version.  Most of the recipes are from a Japanese-American living abroad in Europe, cooking her mother's recipes.  She also has a companion website called Just Bento. Another purely aspirational website so far, owing to the fact that my counter space is already crammed with Chinese sauces so not a lot of room for Japanese ones, but if I ever get a takoyaki maker, I'm going to make takoyaki.

What are your favourite food blogs?  Do share them! 

Asian Poses (with lots of cute Asian girls!)

I've spent my whole day entertained by this, since, no joke, I have done every single one of these poses. Guess I am secretly Asian after all!  However, I call the Louder pose "jazz hands" or "Judy Garland in A Star is Born."  Also, personally this pose was inspired by, you guessed it, My Sassy Girl.

Dude, I should be too old for this kind of stuff, but the guy is right when he says that posing makes photos more interesting. At least it's better than "drunk pose"!

I'm curious, for no reason whatsoever, about what the flist's skin care routine might be.
Poll #1413072
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

Describe your skin care routine:

When will I ever have free time again?!

I'm seriously tempted to check into a five star hotel in Tianjin and a lot of trashy novels over the upcoming Duan Wu Jie holiday.  Hotel. Bath. Trashy novels. Room service. Sounds lovely.